Sunday, February 21, 2010

Introducing Connecticut Senate Candidate Richard Blumenthal

This is the first of a series of posts on Connecticut Attorney General turned Senate Candidate, Richard Blumenthal.

Ah, the case of Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal (D), or as I refer to him, “Dickie”. I have studied the dance of Dickie for years and years, wondering exactly where he would land after wearing out the AG’s lair. He is by far the smarmiest of political figures in the great State of Connecticut.

For those of you unaware of Dickie and his dastardly doings as Attorney General of Connecticut, let me scribe a little tome that is both entertaining and disgusting all at the same time. Dickie’s story is possibly one of the best political tales in modern American politics.

Dickie is an amazing politician, but not an amazing public servant. He has served (I use that term loosely) the State of Connecticut as its Attorney General since 1991, gaining such popularity as to be considered by most people in the political know, a gubernatorial candidate in the last four Governor’s races, although he never did commit to running in any of them. Popularity is not the only thing he has had all these years, he also has the chops needed to stay relevant. 

Dickie is the perfect example of consummate career politician. He’s a Harvard Law grad, big surprise I know, and has some pretty good legal tutelage under his belt including a stint as law clerk to Supreme Court Justice Harry Blackmun. He was voted into every office he ran for at a very young age, eventually rising up from State’s Attorney to State Representative to his present position. Now, the good Attorney General is gunning for the Senate seat being vacated by long term Senator and master thief, Chris Dodd.

His latest maneuver is a magnificent illustration of just how Dickie plays the political game so successfully. In an effort to look “independent” of the currently unpopular Falderal (Obama) Administration, Dickie has squawked about distancing himself from the President during his Senatorial campaign. This is interesting given he received a congratulatory phone call from Falderal and Gaffemeister Biden about five minutes after announcing his run, which he was quick to bandy about to every news agency willing to listen, very proud of his Presidential approval apparently, at least at the time.

This latest development is sure to piss off the Falderal Administration given their relief at Dodd’s retirement announcement.  Dodd was facing a very tough run indeed; given his past scandals were beginning to catch up to him. Falderal et al, cannot afford to lose any more seats in the Houses than already projected in the mid terms. Certainly they must see Dickie as a safer bet than Dodd, however being frozen out by the darling of the Connecticut Democratic Party doesn’t bode well for them, it could bode well for Dickie, though.

This “independent” strategy is something Dickie has always found useful in order to promote his own political agenda. See, Dickie gave up caring about such small things as constituents’ years ago. He knows how to use the power of popularity, and if you happen to be a politician within his particular orbit experiencing popularity challenges when Dickie is trying to achieve something, consider yourself persona non grata until you clean up your house; even if you happen to be the President of the United States!

There is always a little bit of a wink, wink with Dickie when it comes to members of his own party. He’ll look you in the eye while stabbing you in the back with wild abandon, yet even the ones being stabbed seem to forgive him. Dickie is on the ultimate of power trips and he masterfully navigates his way through by clinging to what has been a good run, lacking any semblance of scandal in his career. Well, none that has made the news anyway.

AG Dickie is the master of making minutiae seem big. He can blow up a headline like no one’s business, and it is oft said amongst Connecticut politicos that the most dangerous place to find yourself is between Dickie and a TV camera! Especially, if the topic at hand has hit a hot button somewhere.

(This example is obviously an exaggeration, but the meat of it is actually a fair illustration of Attorney General Blumenthal’s modus operandi.)

Example: A puppy has been hit by a GM car in Podunk, CT. Expect to see a dark Crown Vic with CT Plate #3 prowling around somewhere in the vicinity whilst Dickie holds the bleeding carcass in his arms vexing not only the driver of the car and the owner of the dog, but GM for designing a car with engineering flaws disallowing unencumbered views of wayward Chihuahuas underneath the bumper line. And, he will sue everyone involved. The cases will never make it to court because all Dickie wants is the headline. What happens after that, means nothing while the risk of losing a case in court and looking bad is not an option. Settling is what Dickie wants because he can do it by using fear.

Dickie is famous for using the might of the AG’s office to smack down his targets in favor of making himself look like the savior of the State’s taxpayers. And, it is a heavy sword he carries. No businessperson wants a beef with the State and their formidable resources.

The AG’s office has claimed hauling in many millions of dollars in settlements for the State of Connecticut during the reign of Dickie however questionable it is as to how that money made its way into the State’s coffers and how much taxpayer dough it took to realize those settlements. I can’t prove this because the available numbers are nebulous at best, but I would be willing to bet the taxpayers are getting a pretty good screwing when all is said and done.

There is one very telling example of Dickie’s work, which has garnered some serious media attention lately and proves that at the very least the AG may cost the State an $18 million jury award sometime in the future.

The short story is; a small computer company who had contracts to deliver Dell computers to Connecticut State Agencies was accused of selling inferior units. Dickie stepped in and launched an investigation in which the owners were given the whole of four, that’s 4, days to comply with an court order to account for the specifications of thousands of computers sold over many years. That’s like tying your hands behind your back and being told to build an Ark in four days. When the company couldn’t comply, their owner was arrested and charged with larceny. Then Dickie sued the company for $1.75 million, three times what he figured the actual amount due to the State could have been… if proven.

The computer company, as aforementioned not a big business, fortunately had the wherewithal to countersue the State of Connecticut and were awarded $18.3 million by the jury, who stated many different reasons for why they reached that verdict including the conclusion that Dickie overstepped his bounds. The company surely won’t see the whole 18 mil, but they will get something, indeed the company should get something as they lost dearly over the years it took to dredge through this case. A smart State Attorney General would settle this thing and go fishing for some other innocent sucker. Not Dickie. Nope, Dickie has avowed vengeance and will spend many more hundreds of thousands, maybe millions of taxpayer money appealing the verdict. Because of course, Dickie cannot be made to look bad!

I like to use Dickie’s hair as a metaphor for his career. Yeah, it’s mean but hey, you want a friend in politics? Get a dog.

Dickie has some extreme follicular challenges. There is a base of hair on which to work with, but it ain’t much. I am certain however, that when let down, at least one portion of it must hit the floor at some point. Through some miracle of modern science he is able to coax the remaining veteran hairs into a magnificent piece of sculpture that gives the appearance of covering almost all of his Harvard educated dome. It has to take some real aplomb to achieve such majesty. From the front it is a facade of something almost normal in the hair lifecycle of the average man, if not a bit heavy on the axle grease. But, from behind, well, that is where the real beauty is. The rear view of Dickie’s head strongly resembles the stern of a classic Christ Craft day cruiser with the perfectly shellacked swooping lines coming back from the ears and colliding into a marvelous dovetail. The stuff is even Mahogany colored!

Yes, the more I think about it, the more ol’ Dickie’s career resembles that mop of amazing hair. Even though there is not much to work with, the appearance of a solid base never truly realized, is able to carry through and lift up to amazing heights of perceived achievement. Just watch out when the wind starts blowing.  


  1. As I have always held the belief and have stated so many time before in past and recent editorials around the state, Why is it that our AG looks like a mobster? Nice to know that someone shares my opinion of Dick the Slick of Grenwick.

  2. After all the shit the dumbocrats have pulled if you vote for this prick you get what you deserve

  3. dickie looks like prince charles!